Weird Body Metrics and Those Damn Wetsuits

wetsuit
“I am very skinny” – Novak Djokovic

Let’s talk about something that has benifited as well as bothered me throughout my life: I have the body metrics of a rather tale, steel pole. In other words: I’m just skinny.
I have been skinny as a kid, skinny as a puber and now I’m skinny (though a little more muscular) as a not-yet Ironman triahlete.

Woow big deal, you can eat 4000 calories a day and don’t gain a pound, your life must be sooooooo hard” I hear you wonder.

Well, you are right. I can eat 4000 calories a day without gaining a pound and as a mather of fact I do it on a daily basis. Some people only have to look at a bar of chocolate and already gain 10 extra pounds, when you look at it from that perspective then, yes I win.

But this extreme training regime in combination with an hyperactive metabolic system also has a downfall: In the total universe it seems like there has never been founded a company that creates wetsuits for my body metrics. Which means I’m either going to end up with:
A) a wetsuit that is as efficient as dragging a fully deployed parachute behind you through the water.
B) a wetsuit in which tuna in a can has more body movement capabilities then me.
Neither way it’s not going to make swimming, let alone long distances, any more comfortable. I will probably drown because of the parachute effect or cramps.

Is it really that bad? aren’t you exaggerating just a tiny little bit?” N.O.

Shall we look at just a tiny little example of what the magical floating device companies have to offer? I think we should.
So let’s play the game ”Match the body metrics
KG: 68 (145lbs)
Height: 187cm (6”1′)
Chest: 88cm
Waist: 73cm

O’neill
Size chart O'neill
Just plain horrible. Body metrics are scattered, you find bits and pieces everywhere, it’s a war zone.

2xu
Size chart 2XU
Better but still no good, and those suits are 3 monthly salaries for me so: NO.

TYR
tyr-wetsuit-sizing
And still no winner. Again close but I would have to get a loan at the bank for these wetsuits.

BUT THEN

God created a company called Orca and they came up with the brilliant, gap-in-the-market, stunning, Apple-comes-up-with-the-first-Iphone, idea of creating a size Medium Tall (TRN Lite fullsleeve, for the ones that care) that actually fits the steel pole persons who happen to need a wetsuit (giant market, I know) just like me!
AND it comes in at 135 euros so that means I can take my kidney of Ebay.

The final piece of the puzzle has finally been found and in around 2 weeks it will arrive to finish the puzzle and get me all Ironman ready, what more does a human being need?

Getting ready to float! 

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